Why Is Letting Go Important for Mental Health?

As I write this on my back porch in the dawn, I notice a faint, crisp breeze moving over me and subtle shifts of color in the leaves. The evenings grow darker sooner, and pumpkin spice is back in stores. November is here. This bittersweet mix of summer ending and autumn beginning brings a wave of nostalgia, making it a natural time for gentle reflection. Just as the seasons shift, we can soften into letting go, practicing forgiveness, and beginning anew.

What Is Ho‘oponopono and How Can It Help With Healing?

This concept of letting go brings to mind a Native Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, Ho‘oponopono. The word means “to make right” or “to correct.” Traditionally, it was led by a healer or elder to restore harmony after conflict. In more modern use, it’s been adapted as a meditative practice for self-compassion, relational healing, and stress relief.

How Do You Practice Ho‘oponopono?

At its simplest, Ho‘oponopono consists of four phrases:

• I’m sorry.

• Please forgive me.

• Thank you.

• I love you.

These are not magic words that can erase conflict, but rather an intentional practice of accountability, gratitude, and compassion.

Why it matters: Cultivating a Ho‘oponopono practice can help soften shame and criticism, support inner processing of resentment, betrayal, and anger, and offer a way to move through endings or unresolved situations.

To practice Ho‘oponopono:

• Choose a focus such as yourself, a loved one, a difficult relationship, or even life in general.

• Repeat the four phrases slowly, silently or aloud.

• Notice what emotions arise; relief, resistance, sadness, or peace. All are welcome.

• Practice consistently as a supportive tool for cultivating compassion.

A gentle reminder: forgiveness is not about excusing harm or rushing healing, but about creating space inside yourself for peace and release.

Why Is Forgiveness Important for Mental Health?

I encourage you to reflect on your relationship with yourself and with others, and look within to identify where you’d like to reconcile and cultivate more compassion. Letting go can help us heal: letting go of anger, letting go of resentment, letting go of the urge to fix or control.

The core philosophy of Ho‘oponopono is that healing ourselves contributes to healing our relationships, and ultimately, the collective.

As this new season begins, may you find ways to soften into forgiveness and cultivate compassion. And if you find yourself needing extra support, know you don’t have to navigate these transitions alone. Schedule a free 20-minute consultation today to to receive grounding and gentle guidance through these cycles of change.

Warmly,

Kalie Pham, LMFT

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Kalie Pham, LMFT (#156007), is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of Inner Compass Therapy in Santa Monica, California. She specializes in couples therapy, EMDR, and identity-focused individual work. Kalie blends attachment-based, narrative, and somatic approaches to help clients understand themselves, heal relationship patterns, and move toward more grounded connection.

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