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How to Rebuild Trust after Lying in a Relationship
Finding out that your partner lied to you can leave you feeling like the ground shifted underneath you. Maybe the lie was about something big, or maybe it was something that seemed small to your partner but felt deeply significant to you. Either way, you may find yourself questioning what you thought you knew, replaying conversations, looking for things you missed, or wondering, “How am I supposed to trust them again?” The good news: trust can be rebuilt. Some people think of
Sep 305 min read


When Is the Right Time to Go to Couples Therapy?
You probably wouldn't wait until your car was completely out of oil, making weird noises, and barely running before taking it to the shop. Regular maintenance helps catch small problems before they become bigger ones. Relationships can be a little like that, too! Couples therapy isn't only for relationships that are in crisis or on the verge of ending. It can also be a way to strengthen your relationship, learn better communication and conflict skills, and address patterns be
Sep 235 min read


How to Validate Your Partner Without Agreeing With Them
As a couples therapist, one thing I see partners struggle with all the time is validating each other’s experiences. And usually, it’s not because they don’t want to validate their partner. It’s because they think the concept of "validation" means something it actually doesn’t. When we hear the word “validation,” it can sound like we’re being asked to agree with someone. To admit they’re right. To apologize. To take responsibility. To let them “win.” And if you believe that’s
Sep 223 min read


How to Overcome Creative Blocks: A Therapist's Perspective
As a therapist in Los Angeles, I specialize in working with creatives, entrepreneurs, dancers, actors, musicians, writers, and professionals in the entertainment industry. One pattern I see over and over is that talent isn't what keeps people stuck from pursuing meaningful work. Creative blocks are. Creative blocks can sound like this: Self-doubt: "I'm not enough." Imposter syndrome: "Who am I to do this?" Perfectionism: "It's not perfect yet." Procrastination: "I'm not ready
Jul 233 min read


How to Build Intimacy in Your Relationship: One Simple Habit to Try
One of the most common questions I hear as a couples therapist is, "How do we build intimacy in our relationship again?" Some might imagine that means planning more elaborate date nights, trying new, wild positions in bed, or learning some secret that will totally transform the way we relate to each other. One thing I teach in couples therapy is this little secret: intimacy usually isn't built through grand gestures that cost a lot of time or money. It's built through small m
Jul 72 min read


How to Bring Up Problems Without Starting a Fight
If communication with your partner often turns into arguments or shutdowns, the issue may not be what you are talking about, but how you are starting the conversation. Learn how “soft startups,” a Gottman-based communication tool, can help couples reduce defensiveness, stay emotionally open, and improve understanding in difficult conversations.
May 214 min read


The Art of Repair: How to Reconnect After a Fight
All couples fight, but what matters most is how they repair. Learn how to reconnect and find your way back to each other after conflict.
May 63 min read


Why You and Your Partner Keep Having the Same Fight (And How to Stop)
If you and your partner keep having the same fight over and over again? It's not about you , and it's not about them . In couples therapy, we look at it differently: It’s not me versus you . It’s me and you versus our cycle. I'm Kalie, a licensed marriage and family therapist who works with couples. One of the biggest shifts I see in therapy happens when partners stop seeing each other as the enemy and start seeing the cycle they are stuck in. Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emo
Feb 172 min read


The Grief We Don’t Talk About
Grief shows up in many forms beyond death, including relationship loss, career changes, health challenges, and lost futures. Learn how to recognize and validate non-death grief.
Feb 43 min read


Why Sex Changes in Long-Term Relationships (and What to Do About It)
Wondering why your sex life feels different after years together? Learn why sexual desire shifts in long-term relationships and tips to rebuild intimacy.
Jan 283 min read


Should We Stay Together or Separate?
When couples are on the brink of divorce or have mixed agendas about the relationship, they want space to explore all of their options. While searching for the right couples therapist, they may come across therapists who specialize in " discernment counseling ." But what does that actually mean? Discernment counseling is a type of therapy approach intended to help couples decide whether to stay together or separate. It's often a good fit for situations when: One partner is
Jan 233 min read


My Partner Had an Affair…Should We Separate?
This is an incredibly painful and paralyzing place to find yourself. Discovering that your partner had an affair can be devastating and, for many, deeply traumatic to the nervous system. You may feel torn between wanting to leave and wanting to stay, unsure who to talk to or how to make sense of what you’re feeling. Reaching out to friends or family can feel complicated, and you may worry about being judged for your uncertainty. The question of whether to separate or rebuild
Jan 164 min read


Self-Awareness in Relationships
I remember a time in my own relationships when I would find myself falling into unhelpful patterns and behaviors that were meant to protect me, but were ultimately sabotaging my relationships . Whether it was anxiously pushing for reassurance in ways that felt needy, or panicking when I felt distance from a partner, these responses were deeply ingrained in me. I didn’t fully understand why I was reacting this way, but I just knew it wasn’t working. Then, as I started learnin
Dec 30, 20253 min read


Live Like It Matters: A Gentle Guide to Living Intentionally
You wake up late and immediately reach for your phone. You scroll through Instagram, feel behind before the day has even started, and skip breakfast. You dive straight into work tasks without a plan, spending the day reacting to emails and notifications. You feel scattered and drained. After work, you scroll again or binge a show without checking in to see if it’s actually helping you unwind. By nightfall, you’re exhausted but not rested. You stay up late and head to bed feel
Dec 30, 20253 min read


Why Is Letting Go Important for Mental Health?
As I write this on my back porch in the dawn, I notice a faint, crisp breeze moving over me and subtle shifts of color in the leaves. The evenings grow darker sooner, and pumpkin spice is back in stores. November is here. This bittersweet mix of summer ending and autumn beginning brings a wave of nostalgia, making it a natural time for gentle reflection. Just as the seasons shift, we can soften into letting go, practicing forgiveness, and beginning anew . What Is Ho‘oponopono
Nov 17, 20252 min read


What to Expect in Couples Therapy: A Realistic Look Inside the Process
Curious what to expect in couples therapy? Learn what actually happens in sessions, how the process works, and what makes therapy effective for lasting change.
Oct 13, 20252 min read


When Intimacy Fades: Understanding a Sexless Relationship Through Attachment
When physical intimacy fades, many couples quietly start to wonder what it means. Is something wrong with us? Has the love changed? The truth is, a sexless relationship is more common than people think, and it’s rarely just about sex. Desire and intimacy are deeply tied to how emotionally safe we feel with our partner. When stress, resentment, or unresolved pain build up, the nervous system naturally shifts into self-protection mode. Instead of openness, we guard ourselves,
Oct 1, 20252 min read


Conflict Resolution in Relationships: Turning Disagreements Into Understanding
Discover how conflict resolution in relationships starts with empathy and emotional awareness, not quick fixes or winning arguments.
Sep 15, 20252 min read


Emotional Distance in Relationships: How Santa Monica Couples Therapy Can Help You Reconnect
Feeling like roommates instead of partners? Learn how Santa Monica couples therapy helps couples bridge emotional distance and rebuild connection.
Sep 1, 20252 min read


Attachment Styles in Relationships: Understanding How You Connect
Have you ever wondered why you crave closeness while your partner pulls away or vice versa? Understanding attachment styles in relationships offers a compassionate framework for why we love, argue, and protect ourselves the way we do. Attachment theory suggests that our earliest experiences with caregivers teach us what to expect from closeness. Those patterns often carry into adult relationships: Anxious attachment tends to seek reassurance and fears disconnection. Avoidan
Aug 18, 20251 min read
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