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If you and your partner keep having the same fight over and over again? It's not about you , and it's not about them . In couples therapy, we look at it differently: It’s not me versus you . It’s me and you versus our cycle. I'm Kalie, a licensed marriage and family therapist who works with couples. One of the biggest shifts I see in therapy happens when partners stop seeing each other as the enemy and start seeing the cycle they are stuck in. Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emo

Grief shows up in many forms beyond death, including relationship loss, career changes, health challenges, and lost futures. Learn how to recognize and validate non-death grief.

Wondering why your sex life feels different after years together? Learn why sexual desire shifts in long-term relationships and tips to rebuild intimacy.

When couples are on the brink of divorce or have mixed agendas about the relationship, they want space to explore all of their options. While searching for the right couples therapist, they may come across therapists who specialize in " discernment counseling ." But what does that actually mean? Discernment counseling is a type of therapy approach intended to help couples decide whether to stay together or separate. It's often a good fit for situations when: One partner is

This is an incredibly painful and paralyzing place to find yourself. Discovering that your partner had an affair can be devastating and, for many, deeply traumatic to the nervous system. You may feel torn between wanting to leave and wanting to stay, unsure who to talk to or how to make sense of what you’re feeling. Reaching out to friends or family can feel complicated, and you may worry about being judged for your uncertainty. The question of whether to separate or rebuild

I remember a time in my own relationships when I would find myself falling into unhelpful patterns and behaviors that were meant to protect me, but were ultimately sabotaging my relationships . Whether it was anxiously pushing for reassurance in ways that felt needy, or panicking when I felt distance from a partner, these responses were deeply ingrained in me. I didn’t fully understand why I was reacting this way, but I just knew it wasn’t working. Then, as I started learnin

You wake up late and immediately reach for your phone. You scroll through Instagram, feel behind before the day has even started, and skip breakfast. You dive straight into work tasks without a plan, spending the day reacting to emails and notifications. You feel scattered and drained. After work, you scroll again or binge a show without checking in to see if it’s actually helping you unwind. By nightfall, you’re exhausted but not rested. You stay up late and head to bed feel

As I write this on my back porch in the dawn, I notice a faint, crisp breeze moving over me and subtle shifts of color in the leaves. The evenings grow darker sooner, and pumpkin spice is back in stores. November is here. This bittersweet mix of summer ending and autumn beginning brings a wave of nostalgia, making it a natural time for gentle reflection. Just as the seasons shift, we can soften into letting go, practicing forgiveness, and beginning anew . What Is Ho‘oponopono

Curious what to expect in couples therapy? Learn what actually happens in sessions, how the process works, and what makes therapy effective for lasting change.

When physical intimacy fades, many couples quietly start to wonder what it means. Is something wrong with us? Has the love changed? The truth is, a sexless relationship  is more common than people think, and it’s rarely just about sex. Desire and intimacy are deeply tied to how emotionally safe we feel with our partner. When stress, resentment, or unresolved pain build up, the nervous system naturally shifts into self-protection mode. Instead of openness, we guard ourselves,

Discover how conflict resolution in relationships starts with empathy and emotional awareness, not quick fixes or winning arguments.

Feeling like roommates instead of partners? Learn how Santa Monica couples therapy helps couples bridge emotional distance and rebuild connection.

Have you ever wondered why you crave closeness while your partner pulls away or vice versa? Understanding attachment styles in relationships  offers a compassionate framework for why we love, argue, and protect ourselves the way we do. Attachment theory suggests that our earliest experiences with caregivers teach us what to expect from closeness. Those patterns often carry into adult relationships: Anxious attachment  tends to seek reassurance and fears disconnection. Avoidan

Healing from infidelity takes time and care. Discover how Santa Monica couples therapy supports partners in processing betrayal and rebuilding emotional safety.

Every couple struggles with communication at some point. Maybe you keep talking in circles, or every attempt at resolution turns into misunderstanding or defensiveness. When we talk about communication problems in relationships , we’re really talking about what happens underneath the words. Often, each partner is fighting for something that feels vital (validation, reassurance, belonging) but those needs get buried under frustration or fear. One person might push for answers